One of my friends recently asked a question that stemmed from my Ask Aunt Fran post about sexuality.
(And this is a good place to drop in that this column is where I answer questions people have had about my gender transition thang. If you have a question, email me at email@example.com (or my personal address if you know it). All questions, such as this one, will be answered anonymously, unless you want the exposure. And keep in mind that I’m not a shrink or a doctor; my answers are based on my own experiences with gender matters.)
I mentioned that my attraction is to girls, either genetic or transgender. My friend had an uncomfortable question for me, but one I readily answered, since it’s something I’ve pondered several times myself:
“You had mentioned that your girlfriends didn’t feel threatened about you hitting on their husbands, or that your male friends were threatened either … but have you ever had girlfriends who wondered if you were hitting on them?
“I have a girlfriend who I have been friends with for almost half of my life. We were buds for about 2 years before she came out to me that she was a lesbian. I wasn’t completely shocked, but it did make me wonder about a few instances — like, ‘She has seen me naked!’ — and I wonder if those nights we crashed in the same bed if it had a different meaning for her? It took me an entire 2 seconds to get over this, but one of the first things she said to me was, ‘Don’t worry … I don’t like you that way.’ Even though it was funny, it got me thinking about the relationship that women have with other women. (I’m speaking of straight women because I am one and can’t speak for or about anyone else.)
“The relationships that women have with other women are a very special, sacred thing. Women have an emotional connection with each other that can run very deep (deeper than they do with their spouse sometimes). I have older women in my life that I can look up to for wisdom and comfort. I have younger women in my life who look up to me for guidance and support. Women are always there for other women in a way men can’t be. I guess it’s very similar to male bonding, although the dynamics are a little different because we are different creatures.”
Turn the record over and find out …