Love those fortune cookies, Part 11

I’m not planning to make a habit of returning to Chinese buffets on a regular basis — I really need to drop the weight again — but my friend Dixie and I had been threatening to go out for sushi for some time, and the cheapest place I could think of with good stuff was Tang Dynasty in Fresno ($12.52 with tax to gorge yourself on raw fish and rolls).

So there we were last night. And when the waiter came around with the tab and the fortune cookies, I told her about this category in my blog, and my uncanny knack for almost always getting fortunes that speak to something specific in my life. And then I opened it and I told her what it said. And her reaction was “Get the fuck out of here!”

What it said:

“You think that is a secret, but it never has been one.”

Whoa! Pretty damn heavy for a fortune cookie fortune.

The funny thing is, that little secret of mine that’s no longer a secret — my whole gender-transition trip — actually wasn’t a secret to some folks. I mean, besides the girlfriends I would experiment dressing with over the years …

The first person I came out to in my immediate family in September 2009 was my youngest brother. He works in sales for a manufacturing company; has been there a long time, since the early-to-mid-’90s. Met his wife there; they still work together.

Anyway, he asked me if I was coming home for Christmas, and I told him, “I don’t think so. Besides, Dood, I’m going through some really weird shit right now –”

“Tell me.” In a reassuring tone, as if he were talking to one of his daughters.

OK, here goes nothing but the rest of my life … So I told him, thinking I was dropping the bomb on him. Other way around.

“Well, it’s nothing I haven’t known for a long time, you have no problem with us and you’ll have no problem with the folks when the time comes.”

Back the fuck up! Back the fuck up! What do you mean you’ve known for a long time?”

“I’ve known since before I started going out with (my wife).”

“What do you mean you’ve known?” I was stammering at that point, bewildered. “I mean –”

“I know; we never talked about it,” he said. “But I read people for a living and I’m damn good at it.”

So he knew long before I was certain about it. And he’s hired.

There’s a whole other wild and astounding part to the story, but I think I’ll save it for the book …

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4 Responses to “Love those fortune cookies, Part 11”

  1. Jay Parks Says:

    My best fortune from a cookie:

    “You are the master of every situation.”

    So – I got that going for me…

  2. Kelli Elam Says:

    Hi Fran! I like this post(and, I tried to “Like” it too, but I need to sign up at WordPress first, oh well I’ll think about it…btw, how does that site compare to Blogger? If you’ve used “B” of course, thanks!), and the reason I particularly like it(and congratulations to you, and your insightful bro, very cool of him!), is that it reminds me of when I came out to my brother, just over 3 years ago, in San Francisco, and on my birthday, “technically”(I was born on Dec. 7th(yes, I know, another day which lives in “infamy”. 😉 ), but very late in the day, so I “claim” the 8th also–which just also happens to be my parents’ anniversary)…oh, and not to mention, but I will, since it’s like, also one of THE most important moments in my life so far–on the 7th, I came out to the “world” for the very first time, also in, appropriately, San Fran!(pardon the pun, giggles)…and, thankfully, it all went very well that weekend, going out, and coming out, and obviously it’s a weekend I will never forget! So anyway Fran, great for you! And your very cool brother! Take care.

    (Hugs),
    Kelli

  3. blake Says:

    My son’s best one was when he was eight years old “you’ll be married within the year”—ha! no better way to make an 8 year-old squirm. Funny too..cuz it was so specific…usually they’re very vague and
    poetic-oracle-sounding.

  4. bob Says:

    some men smoke but fu manchu.

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